I use the tram to get to work. I appreciate being fast and attractions delivered sporadically by a fussing traveler. I look at car drivers with satisfaction who stuck in a traffic jams and letting out words of frustration on fellow traveler innocent as a lamb. When I’m on the move sitting still, they stay at the same place. My everyday almost 2 hours tram travel means time for myself. So I read. I carry a book which I give the priority place in my bag, often leaving at home brunch to work or jumper if no space is left.
If I could afford driving to work by my car, I would do it. If I drove it, I wouldn’t probably be able to read a debut book by Katarzyna Nosowska ‘A ja jej żem powiedziała’ (possible interpretation of the title: ‘And I said to her’). If I hadn’t read it, I wouldn’t have got to know the author’s thought which I would like to share with you. Let me try to interpret it:
“(…) The sense of things appears with delay. Only you need to wait. What is pure suffering today may turn out to an entrance to happiness and wisdom after while (…)”.
I found it yesterday, the day before the first anniversary of my blog Engineer on High Heels. They stick in my memory and make me think. I was analyzing the period I spent after my job resignation almost 2 years ago. Did I use the opportunity well? Am I happy in my life now? Have I changed?
The wisdom raised on life experience is the value of human. I was reminded that bad moments shape the character better than good ones. They teach, motivate to action. They let you take a new path where you leave footsteps of your dreams, needs and goals.
I devote so much time or maybe I should use the verb lose too much time trying to understand why my professional life ran in such a way. I couldn’t find the answer. I stopped thinking about it when a new aims appeared in my life – SUP board and with it my blog. I changed my attitude wanting to start a new chapter as soon as possible.
Today is a year since I have started my blog Engineer on High Heels. I published the first post on August 22nd, 2017. My expectations weren’t big. I desired to nurture the new goal in my life dealing with something that gives me pleasure and brings satisfaction. A desire to improve myself appeared with the development of the blog. I had a need for knowledge and developing new skills – learning things which allow me to solve problems by myself. And what is the most important – I finally had time for that. I am glad live a balance life. I have time to work, passions, personal development, reading books, practising sport, socializing. I appreciate a peace in my life very much.
Kasia Nosowska is right. It is better to let things go, to wait to distance yourself from problems or to see them in a different point of view. It is important to be able to find conclusions. Events which overwhelm us now will be a valuable lesson for us later.
Shirin Ebadi in her book ‘Until we are free. My fight for human rights in Iran’ writes:“(…) how beautiful the present can be and at the same time how rarely we appreciate it”.
Taking under consideration the author’s thoughts I decided to celebrate anniversary of my blog in an unusual way.
Enjoying nice weather I’m floating on my SUP board on the lake. Birthday can’t be celebrated without a cake. So I’m delighting so yummy chocolate muffin. It is beautiful. The sun is shining. I’m enjoying the moment. I’m splashing the water with my legs, I’m eating my cake, I’m adoring the beauty of the nature around me, and I wonder if I would be here if I hadn’t dropped my old life 2 years ago? Probably not.
It remains me to believe that the amount of tears shed, many sleepless nights, living in permanent stress that occurred while my fight for a decent life as a Master of Science Hydroengineer were necessary and needed to appreciate all those what I’m today: peaceful, quiet, free.
So I would like to thank those who made it possible for me. Magda, Nadia, Andrzej, Thomasz, thank you for your commitment and help in my blog at any time of the day and night. I couldn’t handle it without you. Thank you to everyone who supports, motivates, encourages me to overcome my weaknesses. Thank you to “anonymous” sponsors who know what I need at the moment. Thank you my readers for your interest. I’m pleased reading your comments. Your opinions are valuable equally. I want to be better and better for you.
I’m spending today anniversary alone. But feel invited to coffeehouse Przystań na kawę in Szczecin on Saturday August 25th, 2018. Who wants to eat a cake with me and chat, please come at 11:00.